This post is dedicated to anyone who doesn?t feel appreciated for who they are, the things they do and as a result have a low sense of self worth.
The Good News Is:
You are not alone and I sincerely hope you can draw some strength and encouragement from reading this post. It?s also important you understand the context and concept of the article.
Abraham Lincoln said ?You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can?t please all of the people all of the time.?
It?s a painful experience putting your heart and soul into making things work out, seeing people happy, meeting deadlines, building relationships….but people just don?t get you.
They are either pessimistic, fault finders, often complain, are simply nasty, never satisfied or…..(fill in the blank).
Constructive criticism is acceptable but this post focuses on the premise of not being appreciated for anything at all.
The truth is:
You can?t please everyone no matter how hard you try so it?s best to get on with life, learn from the criticisms and be yourself.
If you worried about every little thing, what time would you have to enjoy your life, be with your family /loved ones, make progress…….
I mean it?s bad enough:
- Someone is not happy with the man/woman you are dating/married to, the number of children you have or how you raise them.
- You are blamed for your independence
- Your boss is never satisfied with your input to work
- People are complaining about your weight.
- You give so much love but gets nothing in return
- People keep reminding you of being single and having no man/woman.
- You aren?t appreciated for the type of work you or the level of service offered i.e policeman, nurse fireman, doctor….
If I were to highlight my experience in the last 6 weeks, it would be:
Receiving mails stating ‘I write absolute drivel and tosh’ (exact quote)!! My topics are airy fairy and don?t hold water? (laugh!!) 40/25 reasons to do this/that and very soon it would be reasons why people should breathe. (I?m not so sure about that)
Finally a slightly confusing one:
?I am stupid.? Hmmh!! I?m not sure what my offence is and why one would take a few minutes/seconds to send that in a mail lol!! However I digress.
Once again the aim of the post is highlight a few reasons why you can?t please everyone, suggest a few ways to do deal with it and provide some encouragement as you go through this phase.
It?s important you remember you can?t please everyone because:
- Some people are never satisfied.
- Their expectations of you may not be realistic. People will always have a subjective view about you.
- There is always room for constructive criticism.
- As painful as it sounds you are simply not good enough.(it?s hard to accept but it?s true: please read my response to melodys’ comment below in terms of context)
- Some people are positioned to patronize or take advantage of who you are.
- Your values are totally different from theirs. We are all raised and conditioned in unique ways
- Our taste and class differ from one another.
- It?s not worth building or maintaining the relationship because it?s clearly one sided and bringing you down.
- You need to improve on your skills or presentation.
- Some people are just plain jealous.
- Some people are too critical by nature.
- There would always be conflict lurking around the corner.
- There are people better than you.(you need to accept this fact.)
- Not everyone is really happy about your success.
- Unfortunately some people will always take a stereotypical view about you.
- You are unique and authentic.
- Some people have the talent of complaining about every little thing.
- Some people are just the wrong people to be with.(it?s harsh but true). It?s better to have them as acquaintances rather trusted friends.
- There?s no point being a jack of all trades, master of none.
The list is endless…………………………..
What can you do when faced with the frustration of trying to please everyone?
The following suggestions may help out:
Do Your Best
Always do your best and take constructive criticism on board. You would be amazed at how far you would go in life, relationships, career etc. Your best may not be good enough, but do put in productive time and effort.
Accept You Can?t Please Everyone
Accept the fact that you can?t please everyone no matter how hard you try. This is being realistic about your potentials, talents and expectations. It?s not an attempt to be pessimistic rather it?s just being cautiously/moderately optimistic.
Remember Who You Are
It?s important you remember what makes you tick. You are authentic and unique in your own way and this is what makes you stand out. Not everyone will like you for this but that?s the way of the world. Standing firm on constructive principles certainly distinguishes you.
Point And Laugh
Believe me it?s not pride to do so. Once again point and laugh!!! It?s important you find a bit of humour in certain circumstances. Life is too short to take too many things to heart besides where would be the space for building a family, relationship, career, if all you did was worry about pleasing everyone. It?s not a selfish concept, rather it?s as simple as it can be.
Point and laugh.
Laugh because it makes you feel better, reduces stress, takes your mind off unnecessary issues…..
Recognize Your Skills/Talents
Appreciate the skills and talents you’ve got. There?s so much to build upon, discover, fine tune………. In the course of recognizing your talent, locate your target audience????.
You need to be secured in who, what and whom you are as well as taking an optimistic view to life i.e. the glass half full.
Work on your attitude
?Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference? ? Winston Churchill
Your attitude determines how you respond to frustrations, whether you rise or fall, what experience can be gained from living a life filled with purpose. Although you can?t please everyone, it?s important you embrace the concept of humility.
A positive attitude enhances optimism, helps you manage how you react to the knowledge of not being able to please everyone.
Build Your Confidence:
Be strong, determined and decisive when carrying out certain tasks or actions. This will give you the ability to remain focused when people don?t seem satisfied or recognize the effort you?ve put in.
This also equips you with the appropriate mindset to seeing things move in a positive direction and you can build your confidence by:
- Positive affirmations.
- Believing in yourself.
- Taking risks.
- Communicating clearly and properly.
Be Open To Change
This involves making corrections where necessary and not being too hard on yourself. Keep an open mind. It is essential for your personal growth and development. There?s always something you can learn from each experience. Change is a good thing. You don?t know it all so there?s always room for exposure.
You can?t please everyone but you certainly can be open to change and this enhances your personal development
I look forward to your comments and suggestions.