A quick reminder once again, the theme for the month of December focuses on building, sustaining and improving all forms of relationships. Today?s post is a response to the question raised by a reader on experiencing loneliness this Christmas.
Up to half a million older people in Britain will spend Christmas alone this year and one in ten older people admit to being lonely most of the year – http://www.wrvs.org.uk
Loneliness is a perception of being alone and isolated. It is a painful awareness of not being connected to others and there?s a constant feeling of emptiness. Mind UK describes loneliness as being overwhelmed by an unbearable feeling of separateness, at a very deep level.
The symptoms of loneliness are as follows:
- Feeling empty, depressed, contemplating suicide
- Little or no self motivation.
- Being resistant or reluctant to change
- Being self centred & of the opinion no one understands ones? situation
- Possessing a victims? mentality.
- Low self esteem
- Genetic or Biological Influences
- Feeling socially inadequate.
- Working on the assumption everyone has friends.
- Self-preoccupied with excessive work.
- Dissatisfaction with social or family relationships.
- Lack of love & affection.
The aim of this post is to slightly alter your way of thinking and suggest simple ways of dealing with loneliness. The benefit of having a list is to identify point?s exclusive to you and make choices to start developing new thoughts..
In no particular order, here are a few ways of dealing with mild forms of loneliness:
- Stop giving yourself a hard time and wallowing in self pity.
- Let go (it?s not so easy) of the past hurts, mistakes and painful relationships.
- Accept and feel good about who you are.
- Identify the reasons for experiencing loneliness.
- Be determined or ready to take positive steps and actions to combat loneliness.
- Developing an interest in things that come naturally to you.
- Try having a plan for your daily/future activities.
- Get involved with activities that would boost your physical and mental abilities eg. exercising.
- Do something you love.
- Keep the flames of hope burning.
- Replace your negative thoughts with positive ones.
- Go out; get involved in things that would require meeting people, and making friends.
- Start talking to people.
- Reach out to old friends, family and colleagues.
- Spend quality time with your children (if applicable)
- Express your thoughts or actions in a clear and concise manner.
- Start making new goals.
- Be creative when solving your problems.
- Reveal more about who you are but exercise a bit of common sense while doing it.
- Join an online community or various social networking sites.
- Become a team player at work or in several activities that require cooperating with other people.
- Relax rest and get enough sleep.
- Eat healthy.
- Listen to music.
- Read a good book.
- Go out on dates.
- Start a new hobby.
- Volunteer with various charity organizations.
- Show gratitude and develop the attitude of being thankful.
- Avoid turning to things that could be temporary fixes & impact dangerously on your health such as drugs and alcohol.
- Seek professional help when necessary.
Finally, I would be willing to chat, listen, write to or offer a free coaching session (if applicable) for 20 minutes to anyone who is experiencing loneliness. This is subject to my discretion, availability and careful selection of each request depending on its content. (REMEMBER THIS TOPIC FOCUSES ON A MILD FORM OF LONELINESS, NOT HOSPITAL RELATED OR SEVERE CASES.)
Send me an email.
I look forward your comments and suggestions.